Well, I am back…

For the moment at least.

It has been 5 months to the day since my last post. I haven’t quite decided if I am giving up the blog or only going to write when I feel like it.

It is raining here in North Texas today, so it felt like a good time to write. It is gloomy like my mood.

Why is my mood gloomy? I have decided to no longer try to have another baby.

Growing up I always envisioned that my house would be one full of children playing and laughing. Screaming and fighting ( you know the way siblings do!). Buying dolls for my little girls and cars for the boys.

It no longer seems like that dream can become a reality.

We have been trying to get pregnant for years and it just hasn’t happened. I even got on Clomid for awhile and that did not help. We can not afford to do IVF or any other fertility helps.

It seems like a house full of kids for us is not meant to be.

We have our one son and we love him very much. We are so thankful God let us be his parents.

So for now, I will accept that it will just be the three of us. They way God planned it.